From the Valley

The past 2 weeks or so have been really quite rough for me. It all started with inexplicable insomnia. The not being able to sleep in turn made me feel anxious about going to bed later that night. I grew so weary of going to bed and tossing and turning until 4:30 am. And then of course it's hard not to feel depressed during the day, when I have to carry on as usual, put on my happy face and do my best to love others when I"m feeling so worn out. The beauty in all this is that I have been driven to my Creator's side in a way that I never really have before. I think some shallowness has been ripped from me, and it's hurt but that's a good thing. I'm finishing up some medication right now for all this, and we'll see what happens....this may not be over yet. Please pray for a Christ-like perseverance for me. In the midst of all this, I've cried out to Him in pain, asking "why!?" I've prayed to not leave this place the same person that I was when I arrived. I think this may be one way in which He is shaping and changing me....I just never knew it would be so hard. You see God in a new way when you are lying awake at night while the world around you is asleep. God is the only one there, He never relaxes concerning His presence with us. He never slumbers or sleeps. When you can't sleep, you have that desire for a friend near you to have the same problem, so you can talk and maybe you wouldn't feel so isolated, but God has been that friend to me. He's borne with my impatience and my cries of frustration.

Authenticity is a quality that I admire so much in others and one that I strive for in my life and the more I think about it, the more I realize that it really comes about through suffering hardships. Nothing is quite so beautiful as one who can say with tears in their eyes, in the middle of suffering, "The Lord gives, the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." Before all this happened I had been thinking how I truly want to never give the pat, cliche, "christian" answers to people who are hurting....or people in general for that matter. May God help us to see suffering for the good that it can bring out in us and the hope we can bring to others.

And in His Name....

I visited an area of town they call "under the bridge" this week. Let me just say, I've lived here for going on 9 months now and have visited other 3rd world countries but this was one of the worst living conditions I've seen I think. These people basically live in a trash dump. It floods the senses and overwhelms the emotions as you take the little boat across the trash filled sewage then crawl under the bridge (where many people live) to reach the other side where all the shack-like houses are lined up along the banks of the sewage. " No one should have to live like this" is basically what is running through your head the whole time. I went to help out with a program they have every tuesday for kids and their moms to basically just have a time of singing and playing followed by a meal to hit all the basic food groups. Which is probably the only balanced meal they get all week.

I just have such a hard time wrestling with issues like these when I'm faced head on with it. It angers me, frustrates me but also makes me realize how small I am in the whole scheme of things. What can I do to help? It doesn't seem like I can do much, and for that reason, so many just choose not to do anything at all. Lately, I've just been feeling like I want to use my life to provide for the poor, needy and neglected. I want my life to be dedicated to battling poverty, oppression and social injustice. I'm physically sick and weary of just visiting every now and again, praying every so often and making the occasional donation but not really doing much else. I think it all begins with praying regularly against poverty and messes like this. Only after regularly coming before my Father about these things will I ever be in the right mindset to help with an unselfish motive. I don't want to help b/c it the "Angelina Jolie", cool thing to do to be involved in helping poor people. I want to help because LIFE MATTERS. Every life.

I was listening to Christmas music the other day because I love it and it encourages me...who cares if it's September. Anyway, O Holy Night is my absolute favorite Christmas song. I get goosebumps or tear up everytime I hear it and really listen to the lyrics and what they mean. But the line that says, "and in His name all oppresssion shall cease." Wow. That's what poverty is...oppression. God hates it, it's even more heartbreaking to Him than it will ever be to us. Spiritual and physical poverty both. He came and died to conquer that grotesqueness.

God, please break these chains. Show us how to practically use our lives to chisel away at these chains in your power. May we never "get used" to the poverty some of us see on a regular basis. Let it always make us uncomfortable enough to fight it and wrestle with our role in fighting it.

Biker Babe

I am now a motor-bike-riding resident of this fine country. My friend, Selvie has been teaching me how to ride motor-bike over the last month. We're going out for our 5th and final lesson tonight, so I can practice night driving. I was so excited, yesterday because I drove from one of the malls to our english center which is a good 15 minute ride! This was a big accomplishment for me, because we had just been practicing on mainly backroads and less-crowded streets. The challenge of driving in Indonesia of course is the lack of lanes, order or structure. But it's been an adventure to learn and hopefully I will do well and not have a wreck or fall, etc. (early on at least). I am slowly learning the method to this madness!

note: this picture was taken several months ago on a friend's motor-bike, I"ll post some pics of me on mine later. Ohh, she'll need a name, so leave any name suggestions for the new bike under "comments." haha...thanks!

A New Era

Well, things are a-changing as they usually do in this ex-pat life. My friend and roomie, Chesi has gone back to America and I've been holding down the fort alone for a week now. So far, so good! I miss my Katherine, but this is what was best for now. I think I will be learning things about God, myself and just life in general that I might never have if I had a roommate. Another new change is not being the "newbie." Also, we have a new teacher at EEC now, David. It's a nice change for Roger, Courtney and I not to be the freshest rookies.




Per Chesi's request, before she left we took full advantage of cheap $6 studio photography. She and I took some pics together and then the other women. Enjoy the cheesiness!



Please notice little Nicole's face (at the top). We let the little girls have their time in the spotlight as well. Nicole had some troubles finding her natural smile though. Precious huh?

What I love about this Country

Ok, so last entry was about the random/funny things about this culture. Now I will post some random things that I love about this country and in no particular order. Enjoy!

-My white skin that might be considered "pasty" in my homeland is very much desired by Indonesians and I'm exotic! Yes, the woman whiten their skin here with all sorts of creams.

- McDonald's delivers

-I can buy movies for .80 cents

-Diet Coke is much better here than the States

-I tend to run late sometimes, but it's no big deal here, nothing ever starts on time (double-edged sword actually)

-I can eat a pretty decent meal of chicken and noodles for around $1

-People oriented culture instead of task-oriented (another double-edged sword)

-I can pay my bills at the ATM

-The malls have grocery stores

-When you visit someone, you always get something to drink

-When I use the language, I always get told, "Oh! You are so smart, you are already fluent." Doesn't matter if I said the shortest simplest Indonesian phrase. (what encouragers they are!)

-Kecap Manis: the most delicious condiment I have ever tasted. It's like sweet soy sauce...I had never truly lived until I came over here and tried it. Now I"m hooked, I eat it on everything.

Funny Things About This New Culture...

It's completely ok to pick your nose in public, but it's quite rude to pick your teeth in front of anyone.

If it's wet, it's clean....scrubing means nothing.

The translation of the word "impossible" is tidak mungkin which means, maybe not. You never give a definite "no" in this culture.

If you haven't done something/been somewhere, etc. and when asked about it, you say "not yet." Doesn't matter if it's a 80 year old lady who's never been married. If someone asks her if she's married, it's always, belum...not yet!

If you're a girl and walking down the street and hear, "Hello Mister!" Yes, they are talking to you....

When you see a sign that says "Open 24/7" it means they close at midnight.

If you wear a modest one piece bathing suit, it's the equivalent of wearing a string bikini in the US.

If you sleep past 7 am, that's sleeping in.

You rarely ever CALL someone with your cell phone, a cell phone is for SMSing (same as texting)

The lanes on the road don't really mean anything.

If you haven't eaten rice, then you've only had a snack.

Toilet paper...that's for blowing your nose right?

Bowling

I went bowling with some of my students the other night. Karaoke was the planned event, but it's so popular here that the wait was too long. We decided that bowling might be better, so since the place was near my house, I swung by my house and picked up enough socks for everyone and we hit the alleys. I won that night with the high score of 121...which is really quite good for me! But I was playing a bunch of Indonesians who have all only bowled about a handful of times in their lives, so I can't really brag.

Durian Day

I decided to join the bandwagon and be the expatriate that makes a blog to update friends and family back home. I wanted an outlet for random/fun thoughts, photos and experiences. I hope you enjoy! Thanks for keeping up with my journey!



So, yesterday I finally tried the infamous fruit...Durian! For those who have never heard of this unique and spikey looking fruit, it has quite a strong smell and you either love it or hate it, I'm told. I actually will probably eventually love it...I enjoyed trying it! The legend goes that it takes 3 times trying it before you love it. But I definitely wasn't repulsed, the only annoying thing was the flies buzzing all around us as we were eating. I asked 2 of my local friends to go with me down the street to help me choose one. It was a memorable experience! I reccommend that anyone travleing in Southeast Asia should give Durian a fair chance!